I recently, started reading a book entitled, The Art of Gathering, How We Meet and Why It Matters, by Priya Parker, and could not help but think of how this relates to today’s weddings. Ms. Parker spends much of the book discussing the importance of why people get together and why it is important that we do. Weddings are one of the biggest gatherings people attend; some are memorable, others are not; some are meaningful, others are not. As a wedding planner, I attend lots of weddings and see the pressure put on a couple to have a perfectly planned and styled ceremony and reception. However, my favorite ones are the ones that are an extension of the couple’s personality and style.
So, I began to wonder, how can you have a wedding with purpose? We all know the purpose is to get married, right? But beyond that, what is your purpose in the planning of your wedding? Is it to out-do your friend’s wedding? Is it to say I have lots of money, creativity and imagination? Did you look online (i.e., Pinterest, Instagram, Google, etc.) and decide you wanted every single idea you saw?
My questions to you is, what is it about your wedding that you want to achieve? What is the most important “thing”? What do you think of: flowers, cake, venue, etc.?
In all honesty, I really hope the most important “thing” is the marriage itself, because if it isn’t then you should NOT get married! The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate that you have chosen someone to spend the rest of your life with. That alone should be a memorable and exciting experience. I’d like to suggest to the two of you getting married, look at your relationship and think about the things that make it special. Those are the things that you need to share with your family and friends at your wedding. Have it reflect your personalities, preferences and beliefs.
One of my most favorite weddings in the past year was held in a small chapel in the mountains. The couple had written their own vows, had a friend sing and play the guitar, and had her dad, a military chaplain, officiate. Guess what? I knew this couple’s heart when the ceremony was over. They shared their souls with us! Now, that was a just the wedding ceremony! They went on to have a beautiful reception, but I could not help but admire that they had spent just as much time thinking about the ceremony as they did the reception. It wasn’t the décor or the venue, or even the dress that made it special, it was them!
So, here’s my advice, think about the purpose for your wedding. What will it say about you and your fiancé? Also, what is going to make it memorable? Why would someone want to be at your wedding rather than a football game? Is it all the stuff your parents’ or you spent money on that they will be remembered? In the end, the thing that they will remember the most is what made it different from all the other weddings they went to this year. I attended a rehearsal dinner not long ago and the groom shared his heart with us, he told us how he met his soon to be wife and how much their love meant to him. The dinner was held in a beautiful venue with delicious food, but the speech that brought us all to tears is what I remember most. It also reminded me of how important a bond between husband and wife is and why we get married.
So, here is the thing, go to Pinterest, Instagram or your favorite bridal magazine and choose 3 pictures that speak to you. Ask your self, why? Is it truly because they say something about you or, does it say my wedding will be better than my friend’s or my cousin’s wedding? Be honest!
Questions to ask yourself.